Edward and the Voyage to Candy Mountain
by Kawaii Kumori
Summary: Emmett has gone insane, AGAIN! With the help of the other younger Cullens, they drag Edward on a non.... forgetable adventure to Candy Mountain as a prank. Something precious to him will be lost.


AN: Written with my friend Meagan, who totally helped with this. Thanks!!!! Writen at like… 4:30 in the morning. Yay!!

Disclaimer: I do own everything, from the Charlie the Unicorn stuff and Twilight. Haha, I can't got yeah!!! I own like… nothing. Joy!!

"Eeeeeeeddddwwwaaaarrrrddd!!!" Oh, dear God. Just whe my life was looking up, Emmett just had to ruin it. Noo!!! "Edward, you silly sleepy head, wake up!"

"What the hell? I'm not sleeping, I can't even sleep!"

"I found a map to Candy Mountain, Edward! Let's go to Candy Mountain!" What the hell?

"What's this rubbish about Candy Mountain?" I asked . "It's not a real place."

"Yes it is, Edward!" Emmett argued. "C'mon, we're going on an adventure, we're going on an adventure!"

"Yeah, I'm going to listen to my music now," I said as I turned my precious up full blast.

"Edward, c'mon let's go!" Emmett started to jump on me while giggling hysterically. "Let's go to Candy Mountain! It's a land with sweets and joy… and joyness."

"Joyness isn't even a word, Emmett," I growled angrily. "Can you stop jumping on me now."

At that moment, Alice and Bella walked into my room filled with loads of shopping bags. Alice seemed pleased with herself, and Bella depressed. Why!!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

"What are you two doing?" Alice asked, her eyes dancing with knowledge of the fact that she already knows. Curse her!!!

"We're going to Candy Mountain, Alice!" Emmett cried gleefully, still bouncing on me. "But Edward doesn't want to come."

"Why not, Edward?' Bella cried with outrage. "It's a land of sweets and joy… and joyness."

"Joyness isn't a word!" I screamed again.

"Stop being so smart, Edward!" Alice complained in a whining voice. "Let's go to Candy Mountain, Edward!"

"Fine I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!"

"This is the first stop on the way to Candy Mountain," Emmett announced, looking at his properly held map.

"Uhm what is that?" I asked, looking at some sort of… dinosaur thingy.

"It's a lioplurodon, Edward!" Alice announced joyfully.

"A magical lioplurodon!" Bella added gleefully.

"It's going to show us the way to Candy Mountain!" Emmett added dancing a… completely creepy dance.

"you know there's no such thing as Candy Mountain," I pointed out.

Everyone gasped, turned, and pointed at me.

"Shun the non-believer!" Emmett cried kingly-like.

"Shuuuunnnnnn!!!!" Alice cried.

"SSssssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnN-ah!!!!" Bella added.

The lioplurodon thing roared at us.

"It has spoken!" Emmett shouted boomingly.

"It has shown us the way!" Alice told me.

"To Candy Mountain!" Bella added.

"It didn't say anything!!" I yelled as they walked away from me.

"It's just across this bridge, Edward," Alice announced as we walked across a rickety, very unstable. I feared for my precious Bella's life.

"Yes, this magical bridge of hope and wonder!" Bloody Emmett.

"Uhm, am I the only one who's getting splinters in their feet?" I never actually realized at that moment that I am a vampire, which means I can't get splinters. Jeez, I can be really stupid at times.

"No, Edward," Bella told me slowly, like I was some sort of child. I'm older than her by like… one hundred years! I'm no child! "We're wearing s-h-o-e-s."

I rolled my eyes.

"Eeeedddwwwaaaarrrrddd!" Bella called. "Eeeeeeddddwwwwaaaarrrdddd!!" she kept calling to me until I got annoyed, which Emmett has only accomplished.

"What?" I growled. "Uhm, my sweet Bella?"

"We're on a bridge, Edward!"

I sighed. "Yes, Bella."

"We're here!" Emmett shouted loudly. We stood infront of a large, almost fake pink mountain with fancy words saying 'Candy Mountain' at the top. It was decorated with different sorts of candies and such sweets as the like. Did I mention that it was PINK?

"What do you know, there actually is a Candy mountain," I said, still not believing them.

"Go into the Candy Mountain Cave, Edward," Alice asked.

"Yeah, Edward, go inside the cave!" Emmett agreed.

"Ugh, fine, I'll go into the freaking cave," Usually, I do not use such words as 'freaking', but Bella was rubbing it off on me, I walked into the dark, foreboding cave.

"Yay! Good bye, Edward!" Bella called to me as the doors to the cave magically closed.

"What good bye?" I started to panic. What the hell was happening?

I could suddenly hear random keys to a piano play badly, as if being hit by something. Hard. Then, splintering of wood could be heard and then… nothing.

I woke up in my piano room, not believing that I WOKE UP. I mean, how does that work? Vampires can't sleep, I don't even think you can knock them out. I was really confused.

I looked around the room, 'cuause that's what I usually see people in movies do. I saw a pile of white wood in the corner where my piano was suppose to be. I realized what it is and emotionally pain wracked through my body.

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled dramatically, kneeling on the floor with my arms above my head, 'cause that's what they do in the movies.

I later found out that this was all a prank set up by Emmett, though he actually did break my piano. It was done with the help of Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and, unfortunately, Bella (but I can forgive her. JUST her).

I shall kill them all!!!! Well, the Cullens, that is.


End file.
